Happy Deceased Anniversary

Girl in coffin at calico ghost town

As you may recall from my IG stories I was in Vegas a couple weeks ago with my Beast Fiend for a last minute two day whirlwind playdate. We had lots of fun doing many and sundry things but one thing that happened I didn’t share on my stories. That was how I passed along an anniversary message from a deceased wife to her husband.

I’ve mentioned it before but I haven’t really delved too deeply here into one of more unusual talents. Briefly; I’ve always been a “sensitive” but a Near Death Experience several years ago has turned that into a full blown clairsentience with a dash of clairvoyance and clairaudience as well.

Feeling the dead is pretty much a full time experience for me. They are, after all, everywhere. But because my gift is more in the feels range as opposed to a ghost just saying, “tell Uncle Joe I left the will in the basement cabinet” it’s been really difficult for me to be able to offer much help unless someone seeks me out and asks me to reach out to someone. And even then all I can offer is vague images and emotions. So I mostly exist with my ghosts quietly.

Vegas was different. The Beast Fiend insisted on a buffet for dinner so we were in line waiting and a lovely older gent was right in front of us. When the Beast Fiend and I get together we’re pretty extra so this gentleman started talking to us. He was there in Vegas celebrating his anniversary. Only…his wife was dead. He was there without her. Now he wasn’t completely alone, he had a friend there, but he was alone for dinner and I could just feel how much he missed her.

As we were standing there I started to feel the familiar buzzing I get when a ghost is around and the conversation with this man and my friend faded into the background. I kept seeing a dog. And a feeling of love and concern.

I focused and taking a chance on not offending him I blurted, “Do you have a dog?”

No, he answered. But they used to have two and both of them were in the room with her when he came home to find her dead.

“She wants you to know it’s ok and she says Happy Anniversary.”

He didn’t say anything and his face was sort of blank.

I said, “I hope I havent upset or offended you.”

No, he said. He was just a little overwhelmed. He’d been waiting for years to get some sort of sign that she was ok.

I told him that I thought he’d just got it.

We all went our own ways and that was that.

Like I said its a rare opportunity when I can help someone like that, especially a stranger, and it always leaves me vaguely wondering if I should have kept my mouth shut instead. Maybe all it did was give him a good story to laugh about with his friends and make fun of. I like to think, however, that it actually gave him some peace and helped him feel not so alone on his Anniversary.

Til next time, my darling Misfits,

Jacqueline, the Victorian Haunt

Gothic girl in hat and black

What’s Making Me Crazy

So I’m sitting here with my morning coffee and still ruminating on the issue that inspired me to revamp this blog on the first place. And what’s that exactly, you say? Well I’ll tell you: why don’t I have one massive social media empire and how can I get one?

Unlike alot of social media mavens I didn’t grow up in the world of it. When I was a youngster starting out you had to make an impression and build an empire in person. Modeling when I was young was trolling the streets of Manhattan trying desperately to get into the doors of an agency and from there going on meeting after meeting we called Go-C’s in an attempt to get booked.

Jacqueline Collen Tarrolly
Some Old Mainstream Modeling

I was one of the lucky ones, I was scouted in Colorado by a Parisian agent and sent to France so I got to skip the first part. When I retired at 29, the internet was just starting to get a hold on the world. When I got back into modeling several years ago, social media made it very possible for me to do the type of work I’d always longed to do. And I’ve done well with it.

Jacqueline Marie Mourning
Jacqueline Marie Mourning

But there was something missing. I’m also deeply into horses and have several. And that side of me is driven strongly by fantasy and medieval roots and nature. I felt like my horses and their world had a lot to offer too. So I started an acct for them.


And then there’s the actual way I make my living, my Vintage store. It needed social media too.

Toadstool Farm Vintage

So now I have three main social media ‘worlds’. All do fine on their own, especially the 1st and main one, Jacqueline Marie Mourning, but none of them are really knocking it out of the park.

And I keep thinking it’s because I can’t focus on just one and really give it all I have. I’m pulled back and forth. But I also truly love all three worlds, they are all an enormous part of me. I don’t want to stop sharing them because then I’d feel like I was hiding a huge part of who I was from you all.

What I long for is something like Jonna Jinton has. Or Black Friday for my darker souls. Where everything they do is so cohesive and clear. There are lots of smaller accounts doing it too, Tathariel is one. But the point is that they seem to have their whole world gelled together and it’s all flows.

I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do that. How does one combine a dark soul who’s favorite color is black and who lives for Halloween and the Addams Family, with another who loves rolling in the mud with her horses and climbing trees and all things green and orange and flowers? It would be so jarring. How would such a world flow together? I can’t see it.

Oh people tell me not to care, just be yourself. True. But Myself also is highly creative and artistic and I ADORE creating beautiful IG feeds that take one on a journey. In fact my main IG is my most chaotic and it makes me crazy.

So I sit here and ponder and write this blog post that is getting way too long because there are so many thoughts running through my head. This blog is the start. I can truly bring it all together here at least. It remains to be seen what other ideas will occur to me. But in the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions, or ideas. I’d love ideas. Brainstorming sometimes sparks the most incredible solutions for me!

Till next time, Misfits!

Safe Journeys!


Welcome to a New World


Gosh, I’ve had this website just sitting here for a few years now. I think my last post in it was 2016.  I knew I wanted to keep it, but I just could not see what its final use was going to be. It went through one incarnation as a random blog… didn’t like that, it felt contrived because I really didn’t know what to say or how to promote it. Then it was a portfolio of sorts for a bit. Then it became just a place holder for the last year-ish. But thankfully, inspiration has struck and I know what to do!

For a while now I’ve felt so pulled in so many directions with my online world. I LOVE Instagram. It can be such an art form and I’ve embraced that aspect of it fully and without reserve. After all, I spent ten years of my life as a professional fantasy artist. I NEED an artistic expression.  I have five working accounts there, though one is secondary to another so I wont include it here.   Each of my accounts is dedicated to a specific aspect of my life. There is the Gothic model account which is my main account. There is a personal version of that same gothic world. Then there is the account dedicated to my horses and magical outdoorsy, Tolkien inspired life. And lastly there is my business account for my Vintage store.   I am deeply attached and involved in all of them but I also really wish I could find a way to tie it all together.   As of this writing I have somewhere in the neighborhood of 45 thousand followers, but they are spread out over the various accounts with my modeling one being the largest at just over 38K.   Many of my followers follow all of the accounts, but not all. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a place I can have ALL of it together?   I can’t really do that on Instagram, or at least I have yet to figure out a way to do that and have it be cohesive and visually appealing. I tried it on YouTube for a bit and still have my account there as well. But I found videos extremely time consuming and rather frustrating to edit well, and as this is not how I earn my living, they sort of fell by the wayside. I can, however, do it here.

I like to write, have in fact written and published a book ( see the link above), and had numerous articles published in magazines and so forth.  Having a blog will be relatively easy to maintain, and as there is always something happening across the sundry aspects of my world I will not lack for material with which to regale you with.  But be prepared, one day I may be talking about my horses, the next it might be a vintage shopping trip, and the third day I may show you some rehearsal photos from a ballet I am dancing in. In other words, expect to be shown just about anything and everything from my current life.

So does this mean I’m giving up my Instagrams? Oh gosh no! I love them too much.  This is in addition to that. I might talk about some of the same things but I can flesh it out here a lot more fully and show more photos/media.  That said, I’m still pondering how I can combine some of my accounts without losing the aesthetic of each one that I love and need so there may be some future changes at some point there.

For now, we’ll just start with this and see where it takes us, yes? Until next time…

Safe journey, Misfits!!!